Tuesday, March 22, 2005

WHO'S LOOKING OUT FOR MR. MOM?

*Originally published at MetroDad

Sam's going back to work in two weeks and since she's the gainfully employed one of our pair, I'm designated Mr. Mom for lil' L. I've approached this fact with cheerful denial, i.e. "Oh, I'm sure it won't be too bad, right?" but when I seriously think about it, it's a daunting reality. It's been a luxury for both Sam and I to be home for L's first two months since we could always bail the other out when necessary. The times when I've had to leave the house for my work needs, Sam's mom has usually rolled through to help.

When I take over, it's not like it's going to be me, 5 days a week, alone...Sam can work from home at least once a week and her mom will still probably come by once a week too, to help. But frankly, I don't know what the hell I'm getting myself in for.

I'm fully aware that millions of moms work this grind out every single day. However, in all fairness, there are a gazillion resources designed to help at-home moms. All the books we have on parenting presume Dad goes back to work and if anyone stays at home, it's mom. Not helpful for me! Moreover, support and activity groups out there cater to at-home moms too. I tried to see if the big, local mom's group accepted Dads - they don't.

Mind you, I'm not bitter at this lack of parity. The % of at-home dads is, I presume, tiny compared to moms, but it makes me feel intimidated that I'm going to have to figure out how to make this work based on little more than my own wits and patience - both of which I'm in short supply of right now. Sam and I have talked about getting childcare - a part-time nanny for example - to help balance the load and while I'm not adverse to this, I still feel like I should try to do this on my own, just to see if it's manageable.

I'm wondering if there are any current or former Mr. Moms out there - and if so - what kind of insights you can lend to a soon-to-be member of that clique. Likewise, I'd love to hear from at-home moms too about what the experience is like: do you still have time to do your own things? How resentful - if at all - were you? Did you feel socially isolated from other people, trapped in your own house? Etc.

Poppa Large thanks you in advance.

Posted by P.L. at 10:02 AM

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